Mind over Manners?

Mark Turner and Tatyana Turner

If you could be extra anything this week, what would it be? I’ll share my personal answer. This week, I’d like to work on being extra present in my life and extra aware of how I make others feel.

We all have those days when we let stress get the best of us. We may get along with someone in out circumference. We might be easily agitated about the inconveniences life brings. And we are disappointed when something does not go our way. This is totally relatable and understandable. However, just because people can empathize with these emotions does not mean they should be tolerated by others. No one should be subjected to your negativity. A professor of mine once told our class : ” Energy is real and though we cannot see it, does not mean it doesn’t exist. Therefore, if you are feeling [crabby] please leave it outside of the door and I will work on my end to only bring positive energy to this room.” I carry this message wherever I go. When I step out into the world, I want to be met with positivity and civility; and therefore, I will try to exude positivity and civility with those I come across, even when I’m not feeling my best.

What is civility?

Common understanding has it as politeness and courtesy that is manifested by our speech and supported by our actions. A common misconception that New Yorkers and other urban communities have is that civility is a lost act that is somewhat outlandish. However, BXTRA has discovered that civility is not a lost art but far too overshadowed by rude, crude and self-destructive behavior that is associated with bullying or other forms of dominate behavior.  In this and age, people are trying to lure us into a false sense of passivity and numbness based on alternative facts and outright lies as a substitution for truth.

If an establishment exhibits a lack of formality, head out. If government officials exhibit civility, speak up. If an individual lacks tact, lead in example and help patch the civility faux pas. Our children are watching.

This week, I will be extra thoughtful of what energies I put out and make sure they are both positive and civil. I encourage you to do the same.

Do good. Stay well. BXTRA.





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Tatyana Turner is a Bronx native who grew up in the Mott Haven and Grand Concourse sections of the borough. She has experience in print journalism and photography. In December 2016, Tatyana graduated from Temple University with a degree in Communication Studies and returned to her home in the Bronx where she is applying her skills to further discover the extraordinary people and places in the place she calls home.

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